T.I.A "This is Africa"

This last week or so has been a bit of a non-event. After being based on the mainland for 3 weeks, complete with mains electricity, running water and sit down toilets (albeit the water is brackish), we were actually looking forward to getting back onto the island. That said the fact that we were on here for 3 weeks now might get a bit testy at times. Add into that the situation that the island base is now full to almost capacity with 30 of us, both staff and volunteers and it does make for an ‘interesting social experiment’. Nevertheless we were still looking forward to it…sorry, back to the non-event I mentioned earlier (honestly I must digress more than Ronnie Corbett at times (joke for the oldies there)).

So, aside from being back on the island, we were also back for a week of Marine, which is a week of boat trips counting dolphins and snorkelling ….Oh come on! It’s not all fun you know ;)

Aaaaaanyway, last Saturday I got another dose of dodgy stomach. Monday, we were given the day to do our BTEC work, we’re both getting a BTEC in Biological Surveying Techniques (counting dolphins and monkeys) as part of our expedition, whilst the rest of the Marine team were getting their introductory training . Tuesday, annoyingly, Kate and I were then rota’d to be on base, 2 people each day have to do this. So finally Wednesday rolls around and it’s our turn to be out on the boat at last. Unfortunately, the other thing still rolling is my stomach. So with the average day on Marine consisting of being out on a boat from 7am to 3pm, I’m understandably reticent about committing myself to an all day boat trip with no loo. Needless to say the group come back with stories of record numbers of dolphins seen in 1 day (more than 30). Finally, Thursday comes around and I’m back on form so it’s off out on the boat. Both Thursday and Friday were great days with sightings of bottlenose and humpback on each day respectively. The Friday sighting of humpbacks was particularly spectacular as a group of around 12 of these “shy and hard to spot” creatures literally cavorted around our bow for about half an hour with one baby being nothing less than our own personal Flipper it put on such a show.

But I digress again, this week was intended to be more about where we are and the country around us, the place we have come to visit and how it makes us feel. I’ve talked a lot about our experiences , but not so much about Africa, Kenya, Shimoni and how it all is and what it’s like.

This entry was titled “T.I.A.”, meaning “This is Africa”, a phrase I heard within a week of getting here, and one I’ve come to learn at the cost of frustration and huge annoyance at times, but also which has slowed me down from the London pace I’ve lived for the last 15 or more years. “T.I.A.” is the acronym you’ll hear when something turns up late, fails to turn up at all, breaks down, doesn’t happen, fails to materialise or for whatever myriad of reasons is just downright bloody exasperating. Africa is fundamentally very different to Europe (duh you might say of course it is but you don’t really understand this until you get here and it’s hard to describe but I’ll try). T.I.A. is about the best way so far I’ve come across of summing it up. It explains everything from government corruption right down to your matatu stopping halfway through the journey it’s supposed to make and which you’ve paid for and announcing it’s going no further!.

A classic example of this was last Saturday when we left Ukunda, the nearest large town, by matatu for a journey which usually takes about 1 hour 15 minutes back to Shimoni, the small mainland town near our island. Let me explain about matatus. They’re small minivans with seating for 15 people, including the driver. They are the transport backbone of the developing world. In their many shapes and sizes and forms they move the population of most of the almost modern world ….EVERYWHERE! In Africa they follow this minivan 15 seat format, other places have their own regional variations like the ornately decorated bus style vehicles of India and Thailand. The matatus have a driver (usually half asleep unless he’s busy talking on his mobile, who might sometimes concentrate on driving) and a conductor (more a hassler, harrier, hawker, DelBoy-esque character who extorts and exhorts, calls and crys, bargains and barters for passengers, cargo, prices and so forth. So with 2 occupants on board that means 13 passengers right? Wrong!!!! So far recorded by yours truly we had a total of 22 people on board at one time, although I use the phrase “on-board” loosely as the conductor and 2 passengers were all hanging out of the side sliding door at the time. Hearsay suggests highest recorded figures are round 26 [since the time of first writing this some friends have just returned from a journey with 30 people on board]. But, back to last weekend, we boarded our matuat in Ukunda at just before 5pm having been told that the last one back to Shimoni was 5.30 most evenings. Amazingly, there were only 8 of us on it as it pulled off (roughly ontime) and even though they stop at irregular intervals we had vague hopes that it might actually be a quiet spacious journey…….oh what foolish and naïve little things we were. Anyway, we pull up at the next stop about 20 minutes down the road near a busy village junction. A small wizened chap climbs hesitantly on board and has a brief word with Delboy, our characterful conductor and after a few protestations from our fellow passengers, our conductor then addresses Kate and I as the only resident “mazungus” (white folk) in his broken but still charmingly understandable English. A 5 minute detour is needed to pick something up for the old chap, are we ok with this? Yes, fine we agree cheerfully, anything to oblige this benignly smiling wee fellah with the wrinkly face. No doubt it’s his walking stick which he left at home , or perhaps his little wife who isn’t so mobile these days and can’t manage the walk through the village to the main road….how sweet.

We pull down a side road and after a few bumps and turns we pull up outside a small shack surrounded by the HUGEST pile of coconuts I’ve ever seen in my life, I mean they were bigger then the house itself for goodness sake. It soon becomes clear there is no forgotten walking stick…no little wife awaiting her ride…oh no…only more coconuts in sacks about the size and indeed weight of a small cow…or large goat for that matter, take your pick.

Cue everyone but Kate and I being asked to disembark, but not us when we try and get off….they don’t want us to move and certainly don’t want to inconvenience us (I kid you not). There follows 45 minutes of what I can only describe as the Marx Brothers at their best as the driver, conductor and aforementioned little old wizened chappie push pull squeeze cram and squash not 1, not 2 not even 3 sacks of these coconuts on board but 9….yes 9 sacks, in the back boot space, through the rear windows, in the drivers door over into the back and finally a few small sacks under the seats for good measure…meh who needs legroom anyway!

We reload with our missing passengers, plus our little old man, his son and 2 granddaughters and proceed back to the junction….to pick up a few more passengers just in case there was any chance that there were a few cubic inches not being properly utilised. And as we resume our journey to Shimoni at top speeds of about 35kph it’s clear we’re not breaking any land speed records here. The final 15kms is on dirt road and very bumpy. By now it’s dark and I’m rather tiring somewhat of the old man sitting half on my lap, wizened smile notwithstanding! We’re proceeding at barely above walking pace by now and after a total journey time of just 2 hours and 45 minutes, we finally pull into Shimoni and complete our epic journey of less than 40kms. As Kate and I extricate ourselves from our seats and try to disembark with more than a few cramped muscles we cannot help but smile at the sheer ludicrousness of it all, helped by our fellow passengers grins and handshakes, who’ve taken great delight in the fact that 2 crazy mazungus have been a part of this little everyday African adventure of theirs.

T.I.A sums up the delays, frustrations, the lethargy and corruption of everything that maddens you about this place, this country, this continent. Sometimes you just wish for something to run right like it does back home (and believe me London is a Swiss clock compared to here), to be on time and efficient. But if it did, this wouldn’t be Africa and we wouldn’t enjoy the flipside of T.I.A which is the wonderfully relaxed way that things are done and the casual acceptance of lifes shortcomings and privations with a simple shrug and a rueful smile.

So until next time, when some small irritation or delay annoys the hell out of you, take a deep breath, shrug your shoulders, smile and think “T.I.A.”

Sorry but no time to post!

Hey folks

We haven't got time for a post this week I'm afraid....but next week our guest blogger will be my lovely wife and accomplice in crime ...the delightful Mrs Litt :)

Thank you for all comments, it's lovely to get snippets of feedback.

Cheers for now

Mr & Mrs Litt

Some piccies at last you lucky lucky people :)

Lake Challa

With the wonderful folk of Kidong on Sat Camp

The hilarious Kids of Kidong

Our mudhut...home for the week

The new Mo!


At the local busstop

and....the terrifying local animals in their natural habitat

Learning to be 5 again

So last week I was missing home quite a bit as the brief blog suggested although not so much missing home as perhaps just not dealing with the little privations of life over here. Life is certainly quite different in all the little day to day things that you either never thought you’d miss or never even noticed at all. Let me try and think of some examples….clean fresh washing, that smells good and isn’t damp; being able to grab your favourite sandwich whenever you feel like it (although the blissful arrival of a jar of marmite from Mum and Dad has really cheered me up); a comfy sofa in a cool room that you can stretch out on; most importantly time and space for Kate and I to chill out together and get some precious time alone. Living communally makes that last one very hard indeed, even when you think you’ve got some space, someone will pop up out of nowhere…and boy do some people struggle to take a hint J. I have all these noble notions of being ever so grateful for these small treasures and lifes little luxuries when we get back to the UK but in all honesty it probably won’t be long before I’m right back to taking them for granted again. Until then I’ll carry on with my current favourite pastime which is asking other people who are heading home, people on 5 week projects etc…what they’re looking forward to most and what they’re going to eat and drink first.

But anyway, how’s this week been then. Well all good really (yes, you can breathe a sigh of relief Mum J) . We’ve both been a bit ill, struck down with some sort of 24 hour bug but these things are so commonplace as to almost fade into the background really. You get used to having a slightly dodgy tummy most of the time. To be honest though that’s the first time in 5 weeks so we’ve been a lot luckier than most people.

We’ve had our first week on Forest, surveying the various animals of the local forest and collecting data on human disturbance which is all passed on to the Kenya Wildlife Service (KWS) who do an amazing job trying to project the flora and fauna of Kenya. Monday we had training at the cottage on the mainland, so yes we had another week of electricity, proper showers (although the water is still cold and brackish), and a proper sit down flushing toilet…oh the sweet sweet luxury). On Tuesday we had our practical training in the Forest. Kate and I were the only 2 doing it so it was just Matt teaching us canopy survey techniques (guessing how tall a tree is) colobus behaviour surveys (wondering how the hell a 3 foot tall black and white monkey is invisible in a green forest), and bird surveys (trying to spot whether a sparrow sized bird in flight has a brown or blue crest!!!)…honestly it’d be easier counting how many leaves there are on a tree, at least trees stay still.

One thing the last few weeks has taught me though is an overwhelming sense of admiration for wildlife film-makers, the ones in the field anyway (sorry Bill Oddie but following Great Crested Tits around Oxfordshire and badgers in your back garden doesn’t count), no, the ones who spend weeks in the field who must cry themselves to sleep after a day where a chimp or a meerkat dances a tango right in front of them just as the camera runs out of film or the battery goes flat. The people you see on Planet Earth film crashing through baobab trees in Madagascar in some arcane flying contraption that surely belongs in a museum. What you don’t see are the weeks spent journeying across the most inhospitable terrain and washing with wet wipes, wiping bums with leaves (preferably not the spiky ones) and surviving on whatever the local diet is….generally rice if you’re lucky. Just 1 day in the forest hacking through dense vines and covering a mere few kms each day but being more tired than I’ve ever felt has given me a brief glimpse of this. Just trying to make a sandwich in the pouring rain so you can have at least something to eat is mission impossible. Watching animals skip and dance across your view as your camera becomes entangled in your binoculars strap for the umpteenth time, only to disappear the moment you free it. Or even worse just sit with their back to you and refusing to move whilst you wait for a glimpse of their face for a photo…and no it isn’t just a case of walking round the other side of the tree believe me.

But the joys of tramping through dense bushes, towering majestic baobabs who look older than the dinosaurs, snagging yourself on spiky vines and tripping over countless roots and old coral formations is all worth it for that fleeting glimpse of one of these creatures in their natural habitat. In just one day I saw colobus monkeys, sykes monkeys, a galago (bush baby), a yellow baboon, sunbirds and hornbills, drongos and parrots and enough butterflies to make a lepidopterist go weak at the knees. Not to mention a centipede 6 inches long with a pair of stings making up at least an inch of that! Apparently Matt, our instructor, had a friend who was hospitalized after being stung on the upper thigh by one…it was 2 inches long! (Don’t worry Mum, they hurt like hell but aren’t life threatening), so this 6 inch behemoth was enough to have us giving it a respectfully wide berth.

As a quick indication of the territory we’re covering, Shimoni Forest East is only 220 hectares (that’s tiny), yet it has been registered as one of 25 global biodiversity hotspots with more than 20% of it’s flora and fauna being endemic (that means they’re found nowhere else in the World). Honestly coastal forests like these make rainforests seem about as diverse as a plastic tray-ful of cress grown by schoolchildren.

So really just the sheer joy and wonder of glimpsing some of these animals in their natural habitat, flaying flapping, jumping, leaping, creeping and crawling has been a real thrill for both of us, it makes you feel like a little kid again. My best spot of the week was a young solitary male baboon glaring at me from the bushes not 20 yards away…that was until this weekend anyway, but I’ll talk about that next week when I’ve got access to the pictures on my camera. Ok, so I did manage to grab one good picture of this particularly chilling specimen displaying it’s raw aggression which is both terrifying and captivating to behold.

Another moment of childlike joy was as we were doing our training in the forest part of what we have to do is measure canopy density which is done by inverting your binoculars, which contracts the view of the canopy and then estimating density from 0-100%. My yelp of excitement as I did something as simple as look the wrong way through a pair of binoculars at the tree tops above me had Kate and Matt falling about in fits of laughter whilst I could only sheepishly grin and blush.

The ultimate being 5 again moment, however, was the grandly named Butterfly Sweep Net Survey…this as you may have guessed involves a group of fully grown adults running about a clearing like madthings, cavorting around with huge butterfly nets in hand, whooping with laughter at each other whilst swooping at butterflies. Catching these flapping fandangoists is no mean feat either as their erractic flight pattern, meant to make them harder for predators to catch them, works equally well on uncoordinated humans stumbling over tree roots and falling into bushes. Now and then though you manage to swag one in your net and then starts the difficult process of extracting it from the net bewteen finger and thumb with wings spread flat so you can get pictures of both it’s topside and underside for ID purposes. If you fear for the delicate butterflies and any damage we may cause then think again. These creatures are stronger than I EVER would have believed. They are basically armour plated muscles which can and often do flap their way out of your grip just as you’re about to photo them so it’s back to square one again! I was this weeks prize Butterfly Catcher you’ll be pleased to hear….yes I thought you’d be proud of me.

So before I sign off, I’ve added some photos from this and previous weeks and also, my two top tips for this week, get yourself a net and a pair of binoculars and have yourself some great fun. It’s certainly put a smile on our faces.

[Due to technical difficulties photos have been attached in a separate post...heh this IS Africa after all]

Normal Service will be resumed shortly!

Not only the short blog, and not simply the crushing hangover from last night out in Diani...but I have finally found what surely must be the slowest internet connection in the world ever. I reckon by the time I've managed to type this anyone actually reading it may have fossilised. In fact civilisation itself may have ended...the pace of this 'internet' cafe would lead me to believe that it's already happened.

So my apologies for another week running, the mohawk will stay hidden and no nice pics of our shiny new classroom and and our keen little classmates. Just opening a page takes about 3 minutes so the thought of uploading a picture would surely have the entire town's worth of internets come crashing down around our ears.

But briefly in news this week (as we have a matatu to catch back to Shimoni very shortly) we've planned and presented our first lessons in class. We've done 3 adult classes teaching 7 students all at intermediate level so their conversational stuff is pretty good. Some of their written work is, errrr interesting. To be fair to them all it's still far better than my kiswahili which runs to ordering food and beer, saying hello and asking how people are though.

We also had a kids class. They've been on holiday this week but the headmaster went around to various houses asking if kids wanted to come into class for an afternoon's extra lesson. You can imagine how well that'd go down in London...you'd probably get stabbed or something. Here we ended up with a class of 25 kids between the ages of 5 and 12 all learning about environmental awareness and conservation. Try explaining the concept of 'soil erosion' to a 6 year old that doesn't speak english. Bless them, at least they're keen and they loved the games that involved running about and sticking pictures of animals on the wall.

This week has been a bit tough for us both. It's not like we're homesick in the usual sense (although we do still miss everyone massively), but all the little niggles have been a bit harder to deal with. The wet season is here which means everything is damp all the time. The flies have increased tenfold and the mossies have been joined by their little buddies the sandflies. The charming little tinkers buzz around your face in clouds trying to bite you incessantly unless you've bathed in deet and hung a smoking incense stick around your neck. So yes, this week has been a little more challenging than others and there have been moments when all I've wanted is a friendly face, a cold beer and a hot salt-free shower, but then I knew there would be days and weeks like this.

But never fear dear reader, I have demonstrated good honest British resolve stiffened my upper lip and only sniffled quietly like a big nancy every now and then ;)

This week we're going to be doing Forest sureveys which sounds like the hardest work yet, but the huge range of animals you get to see makes it worth it.

So until next time, take care, and next time you see someone else that knows me give them a big hug from me and for me cos I'd love one meself.

Love to you all

Jamie