A thought for pause

Well, I've been meaning to tap something out on the blog ever since I got back but I've been foiled by recent events thus far. Unfortunately, last Wednesday, just 5 days after my arrival back in the country and the 3rd day back on my bike (after a 6 month break) I managed to confirm Newton's first theory, gravity does indeed still work exactly as he predicted. As I flew from my saddle and crumpled to the road I proved not only that gravity is still working just as it should do but also that when faced in a competition between bone and tarmac, I can assure you that tarmac remains the more resilient substance in repelling forces. So as my clavicle (that's a collarbone to me and you) bore the brunt of rules 1 and 2 above, and separated neatly into 2 pieces, leaving me sat on the said tarmac lamenting the weakness of bone in the tarmac/calciferous composite competition, I have since had time to reflect at length that after a 6 month break from the bike, cycling no-handed in strong side winds is something best avoided.

My 6 year old nephew summed it up best when told of my predicament he commented helpfully, "Perhaps Uncle Jamie needs to keep his stabilisers on for a bit longer..." Yes, thank you Benjamin I really am very grateful for the timeous advice.

Anyway, enough of my moaning, it certainly could have been far worse. It was only 1 bone, my face is still fine, yes yes I can hear the "we couldn't tell the difference anyway" jokes from here thankyouverymuch. The bike is made of tougher stuff than me and bears not even a scratch and I was assured by the consultant just this morning that I won't need surgery and that it should heal in good order within the next few weeks. And at least it happened at the start of our trip back and not the end.

Thankfully this means that our planned trip back to Kenya in mid-October with the roadtrip thereafter will go ahead according to schedule exactly as we've intended...HURRAH!

So how have things been since we got back. Well, notwithstanding the fears of reverse culture shock and the unplanned visits to A&E it's actually been a fairly smooth transition back to Blighty. The tube is still horrendously overcrowded, the pubs are obscenely expensive and there are more cars on the road than even Nairobi can muster at rush hour. Albeit that every single car seems to only carry 1 person whereas from what I've been used to for 6 months, every single vehicle has been crammed to bursting with adults, kids, chickens, boxes and bags....mainly of coconuts.

Although has it been so smooth? Talking to Kate this morning I've realised that I've been in a fairly anxious and unsettled mood ever since we got back. I've not been freaked out by the UK or how busy things are, but there has been a distinct underlying feeling of anxiety or something being not quite right. Perhaps this is the reverse culture shock I had been promised. I fear that now having been away for a while I'll be left feeling not quite sure where home is. Will I miss here when I'm in Africa only to hanker after the wide open plains, sweeping savannahs and seedy cities of Africa when I'm back in the UK. Where will my heart settle from now on? Perhaps that's what has caused my anxiousness, as it's a question I haven't got the slightest answer to at present.

Now though, almost halfway through my trip home I think I am finally settling down to actually enjoy the break ('scuse the pun), the return home and the fact that I am allowed to relax without thoughts of lists of things to do and people to see. I think the broken bone has thrown me a bit as it was most certainly not planned for and I am a man that likes to follow a plan I think. But over and above that I think perhaps I was floating along on top of what was bothering me thinking I was fine the whole time while my sub-concious was doing it's best to give me a psychological dig in the ribs and make me face up to how I felt.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellll that's quite enough of the deep soul searching shenanigans for now I think. As I said above I think now that I have grumblingly confronted my sub-c and listened and dealt with the psycho dig in the ribs I can breath a sigh of relief and relaxation and settle into the important business of enjoying my time over here and catching up with family and friends like I've been looking forward to for ages.

It really has been wonderful seeing my family and being able to talk around the dinner table with a few glasses of wine whilst enjoying a big roast dinner. Talking about nothing in particular but most importantly doing it face to face and with no delay on the line. Seeing friends has been weird in some respects, not the friends themselves but just the feeling that we've never really been away. It felt a bit like that when we landed at Heathrow. As we disembarked with all the hoards of tourists that'd been away for their 2 weeks safari etc, it all seemed a bit surreal that we'd actually not been back in the country for 6 months.

So here we are, 2 weeks down out of 4 on our trip back to Blighty. It still feels like there should be a list of things we should be doing but I think I am coming to terms with the fact that notwithstanding that feeling I can still relax, take it easy and enjoy myself. I intend to pursue that whole-heartedly for the next 2 weeks come what may.

So until next time, not sure when that'll be but at some point in the next couple of weeks, also enjoy yourself (anxieties aside) and make sure you take some time out to relax. This really is a very hectic country and one should always remember to take a sideways step outside of it even if it is for just a few minutes each week.